Yes and no

Quite often I find I'm caught in a tension between saying 'yes' and saying 'no'.

A favourite writer of mine once said that saying 'no' to some things is saying 'yes' to other things. I found myself agreeing with that statement when I first read it, and I still think it's true. I find it a difficult principle to live by, though.

I keep reducing it to a (perhaps false) dichotomy that to expand my experiences in life I need to say 'yes' to things, but to better come to terms with what I should be doing in areas I already love I need to say 'no'.

Starting something new would inevitably reduce the amount of time doing things I already know I want to do and need to do. I need to write these posts, I need to write and practice music, I need to exercise, I need to socialise. Anytime I'm not doing one of these things, I'm not getting any better at them.

But if an opportunity comes up for me to do something interesting or new, I want to be able to take it. Experiencing new things makes you a broader and ultimately better person.

I'd like to say I'm always going to be a songwriter and a writer and someone who likes to take photos, but one day I might not be. Something that I love even more might come along and have me leaving this all behind in an instant. And I never want to be in a position where I might not be open to that happening.

I'm just going to have to live with this tension, because while I love what I do now, I never want to be closed off. I never want to build a wall around myself and concede that I can only be what I am at that time.